Hi I'm Tell.

Not hard to say by Londoners, but most others seem to stuff it up.

In acceptable, SE London, English, the double ell, as in Tell, is negatively stressed to sound something like the 'aw' in BBC English 'awkward'. ‘Tell’ is therefore more correctly pronounced as 'Tell all', only said as one word and with none of the ells sounded – i.e. the tongue takes the rest of the day off after ‘T’

Come on you lot out there - help me! Someone must be able to do better than I have at this.

IPA symbols don't seem to help a lot though.

Interests:

Most things; apart from trains, cars, collecting, sitting on beaches and packing to go camping.

Qualifications:

Age.
Use of my ability to read.
The ability to disregard the teachings of academics.